Belly Up Or Fight: Which Will You Do?

 

Which Direction Do I Take?

What are you shooting for? What are you wanting to achieve? Could it be a more disciplined child, a new career path, to lose ten pounds, or have a better marriage? What happens to your mind when discouragement sets in, when you keep hitting walls with something you’ve been trying to accomplish? What are your options? Let’s look at two possibilities.

 

GIVE UP. Forget it. You’re not getting where you want to go and you are hitting your head against the wall. It’s no use. Just accept your situation and be content with it. A problem with this option might be you’re settling for less than what you believe you deserve. If this is you, then you are hurting your self-esteem by giving up. In other words, this isn’t an option for you. On the other hand, maybe you’ve been trying so hard and are weary. Perhaps you need a break, but will resume later. This isn’t giving up, either. So, when is it okay to belly-up? The answer to that is in what you believe. Do you believe in your cause enough to go to your death fighting for it, even if you might never see its fruition? Only you can answer that question. Put the pen to paper and figure this one out.

PRESS ON. Take a break if you need to rejuvenate. Get what you need to resume with full force. Do you need a support group to keep you accountable or sessions with a life coach? Determine to keep going, no matter what. Decide to fight for your passion unconditionally: you will press on with or without results.

An example could be you want a more disciplined child. You fight every day with this child. You try reasoning and punishment, but it seems to get worse, not better. But if you keep in mind the growth happens because of the struggle, this will help you to persevere. Your belief will motivate you to continue. Another example could be to have a better marriage. Trying to change another person is futile, so make sure you are changing the only person you can: you.  Focus on your growth, rather than your spouse’s faults. This is a form of acceptance, but it is also placing energy where it counts.

 

What you decide will have more to do with who you are than what you achieve.

Why? Because you have a conscience, whether you admit it or not. This is the truth for every human being. To ignore it means death. To listen to it means life.

 

Master Mind Mistake

Master Mind Mistake Blog Image

The Peer Success Group (www.peersuccessgroup.com) defines the master mind as “a group of like-minded individuals who come together on a regular basis to help and support one another to grow their respective businesses”.

A friend of mine, Kay, got fired from her work and decided to continue that same type of work independently. Since she needed to build up her clientele and her income, I wanted to help her. I happened to need some work done in her area of expertise, so I saw an opportunity to help my friend and myself.

For years, I had previously used a trusted professional to do this type of work. I considered this person a strong master mind alliance of mine, tried and true. However, in Kay’s case, switching professionals was justifiable. After all, she was my friend. I believed she would work even harder for me than my master mind ally did, and she would also deliver better results than I had ever received. In addition, Kay would make money as a result of the work she performed for me and I would get a goal accomplished: a win-win situation.

The seven weeks that followed were nothing short of a nightmare. I had completely placed my trust in Kay to perform this work with a deadline, and she failed me miserably. In fact, she was negligent in so many ways, it made my head spin.

At first I was in denial. During the initial four weeks of the assignment, I completely ignored the fact that she had done almost nothing to accomplish my goal. I was a bit uncomfortable as I received two emails from her during this time. One was that she was going on vacation for ten days and the later was for another, shorter excursion out of town. I assumed that she knew what she was doing, she was the professional, and I shouldn’t second-guess her actions.

Over the next three weeks, I began to ask if we could change a few things. Kay agreed with all the suggestions I made. But why was she so passive for a whole month? Why didn’t she voice these ideas herself? Wasn’t she the professional in this industry, able to see things her clients couldn’t? Why was I the one telling her how to do her work? This whole thing seemed completely lopsided to me. Where was her assertiveness, her proactive nature that was so clearly evident in the friend I knew? I felt I was working with a stranger.

I wasn’t just shocked Kay didn’t come through for me regarding this assignment. More important, I felt betrayed by her. She had been my friend, so I thought. Wouldn’t that automatically mean that she would be painstaking in her approach to deliver fantastic service? After all, she was getting paid the standard rate for her services. I was simply baffled.

I would have done anything for Kay. On this day, it was clear to me that she wouldn’t do anything for me, even if I paid her to do it. After all the time lost, money lost and stress unnecessarily placed on myself by using Kay instead of the trusted source I had used for years, I returned to my master mind ally with my tail tucked between my legs. I had betrayed my alliance, despite my good intentions for Kay. The job was completed in two weeks.

And what do you think happened next? After firing her, Kay acted as if I was the one who had betrayed her! She didn’t even make eye contact when we crossed each other’s paths. Instead, she poked her nose up to the sky, stiffened her posture and sped by.

After some time, I considered calling her to amend our friendship. I felt that we could communicate, get everything on the table to heal. But after thinking it through, I decided not to contact her. I didn’t do anything wrong. I terminated her for self-preservation, to stop the bleeding and to stop losing money. I fired Kay so that I could hire someone I had confidence in to do the work quickly and professionally. If Kay valued our friendship, she would have approached me by now. Since she didn’t, I had to conclude she felt she had done nothing wrong – or worse yet – she didn’t care about mending the friendship. I felt like it was best to leave the whole thing alone.

 

# Lessons Learned #

 

  • Going out of your way to help a friend doesn’t guarantee that when they have the opportunity to go out of their way for you, they will do it.
  • Don’t blur the lines between friendships and business master mind alliances. Keep them separate.
  • When money is involved, stick with the winners, the ones you know you can trust. No one cares more about your finances than you do.
  • If your friends need help, assist them in ways that don’t jeopardize you personally. Maybe start with a smaller project to gauge their abilities.
  • Relationships can be messy, and some relationships can abruptly end in unresolvable circumstances. Learn to accept a lack of closure in these situations and let go of the relationship. However, be open to reconciliation if the opportunity arises in the future. Maintain a forgiving spirit, holding no grudge. If you harbor ill feelings toward someone, this will hurt you, not the other person.

 

It’s good to learn from the mistakes of others, for we can benefit from their wisdom. On the other hand, if we don’t learn from our mistakes, we will be doomed to repeat them.

 

Fall Prevention Begins With Improved Balance

We have all heard about the elderly taking falls and how these falls can sometimes be fatal. The statistics can cause much fear among the senior population (65 and over) around falling. The likelihood exists that you are either one of these seniors who is concerned about falling, or that you know of someone or have a loved one about whom you are concerned. There are many causes of falls and many solutions to prevent falls, but a common cause of falls is simply weak muscles and lack of balance in the lower extremities. One thing that is important to remember: falls are not a requirement of aging!

Now, it is good to know what to do if one falls. However, there is one solution that costs no money and takes very little time, and that is to perform specific exercises at home that will prevent many falls from happening in the first place. Here is one:

Hold on to a stable surface hip- to shoulder-height, such as a counter or shelf. Take a big step forward with one foot, keeping the other foot planted on the floor. This ‘stride’ position is the foundation for building many strength and balancing moves, and as you progress you will be able to acquire a longer stride position. At this point, you can test your balance by briefly letting go of the counter. Then, switch legs and try the other side.

For some of you, simply getting into this position will be enough of a challenge for your balance and flexibility. But hang in there! If you practice this move enough, you will eventually get to where you can add levels of difficulty, like this one:

Still holding on to the counter, bend both legs and let the back heel come up off the floor. Make sure that your spine is perpindicular to the floor and that you are not leaning forward: that would put too much pressure on the front knee. That front knee, by the way, should be at a near 90–degree angle with the weight resting on that front heel (not the toes). Now, if you are able to do this exercise, then you can briefly let go of the counter to test your balance. Switch legs to try the other side.

Most clients find that one side is more stable than the other: this is normal, and should equalize after several weeks of performing these exercises. And if you do these exercises regularly, you should notice an improvement in your balance and your confidence when you move.

If more physical stability is what you want, then the way to get there is to challenge your body with ‘controlled instability’: where everything in your environment is constant and safe except for the one area you are making unstable.

 

 

Make A Mental Shift

Fire sprinkler control systemWe were going to have our first freeze a few nights ago, so before dark that night, I moved all of my potted plants into the garage. Afterwards, I got my jammies on and relaxed.

Long after dark, I realized that I failed to winterize the irrigation system. (Now, if any of you have failed to winterize you irrigation system before a freeze, you know that you don’t want to let THAT happen again.When that happened to us, we were out of town. The water froze in the pipes, and once the temperature rose, the water melted and spewed everywhere onto my neighbor’s property. Thank goodness my kind neighbor turned off our main water supply). So that night I grumbled about what I had to do. I changed my clothes, got a flashlight and a screwdriver and marched outside in the cold. I shut the valve to the water flow and drained the water sitting idly in the pipes.  Finally, my yard was truly prepared for the freeze to come.

Lately, I have been frustrated because things haven’t been going my way, or they haven’t been “going” at all. I feel stuck, and nothing I do and no action I take seems to get me unstuck. So I realized the other morning that I needed to winterize the irrigation system in my head.  I needed to stop trying so hard with action and make a real shift in my thinking instead.  I needed to relax with the knowledge that I have done all that I can do for the moment and I needed to let things develop. And once I decided to shut the valve of frustration off, the the valve of inspiration automatically turned on and flowed. I had new ideas and a new attitude almost immediately after making that mental shift.

Do you have an ongoing struggling with something and nothing seems to happen? Have you been push, push, pushing and what you are pushing against seems to get more stubborn? Then make a mental shift today. Winterize that irrigation system in your head by shutting the negative valve off: just shut it down. Once you decide to discipline your mind and keep it up, you will have new energy flowing in to you.

 

Are You As Lean As You Want To Be?

Here’s a great article on 5 reasons why you might not be as lean as you want to be. A good part of getting and staying lean consists of two things: self-discipline and accurate knowledge. Read below:

http://dmartinfitness.com/2014/05/14/5-reasons-youre-not-leaner/