Do you sometimes feel like there are two of you? An evil twin sister or brother, perhaps? I have felt like there has been a fight all day inside of me. It’s a constant state of unrest and frustration, never seeming to get resolved. I think I woke up this way, and I don’t even know why. Nothing seems to be wrong on the outside, but somehow I feel wrong!
Today was a normal day in all respects. I had a work out, had normal activities and there wasn’t anything particularly stressful about the day. I allowed enough time to get from one place to another – that has been a big stressor for me in the past – so today, I didn’t get stressed about being late.
One thing I did do today that I don’t normally do is this: If I had an unpleasant task, I didn’t shove it aside for later; I did it immediately and got it off my desk, deleted it, filed it or passed it on to the next appropriate party. Sometimes when I allow stuff that I don’t want to do to pile up on my desk, I start to feel overwhelmed and powerless and frustrated. When I feel these emotions, I want to escape. And where do I tend to go to escape from these feelings? EATING and FOOD!
So all this talk about stressors and emotions is leading me to the topic of eating clean. Because if I can manage these stressors and emotions in my life, I’ll have a much better handle of eating well in all respects: I’ll make healthier food choices and my eating behavior will be more “normal”. And by “normal”, I mean normal portions, slowing down my chewing instead of inhaling my food, not taking the whole bag of something and mindlessly doing the “hand-to-bag, hand-to-mouth, repeat” behavior.
I want to feel good today! And my behavior with the food plays a big part in how I feel. So I have to be careful how I eat if I want to feel good about me. Eating clean isn’t just a matter of what I eat; it is also how I am eating.
One thing I do more than I care to admit is eating large portions of healthy food. But even then, I have to ask myself, “Why am I eating more than I really need, even if it’s healthy?” If it’s not true, physical hunger, there’s always a reason. I can no longer be in denial and say it’s a mere habit. If I really want change in my life, I’m going to have to get honest with myself and step away from the kitchen. THEN, the feelings come up. THEN, I have a clue as to what is “eating me”. THEN, I have a chance to change my behavior: Permanently!!